classic

Nick and Tanney



two points if you pick me out

"And honey...hurry up" story for all to enjoy

Nick (and probably everyone else) didn't get my joke, so I'll tell the shortened version of the story so we can all have a good chuckle.

Back when I was in high school, a few of my friends worked at a manufacturing plant that was owned by my friend's dad. And of course, some of their co-workers were trashy Germantown drunks, and they always had good stories to tell us about these little gems. So our favorite was this guy named Steve...he was trashy to the extreme. He pulled out all the stops: mullet, missing teeth, rusty pick up truck, you get the drift. Now Steve's wife (Missy) was a really sweet (and, of course, trashy) woman who worked as a secretary at this manufacturing plant. Their relationship was a real piece of work. She would rub his shoulders and bring him lunch and he would just unbutton his pants, sit back on his chair, belch, and laugh so hard that almost all of his food was projected out of his mouth/teeth. Kinda makes you wonder what this woman saw in this guy. Little did we know that he was cooking up some irreplacable quotes that would survive the test of time.

One lovely Saturday morning, they were all piling into work, getting ready for another day, another dollar. Steve and his wife were there, sitting in the break room. My friends were getting settled in, putting their stuff in their lockers and one of them made a comment about how he missed breakfast and was hungry. Steve's eyes lit up. "You know...I'm hungry too. Missy, we want some donuts. Get us some donuts. These men are hunnnnnngry." (Although, I made this comment a little more grammatically correct, for story telling purposes.) Missy, being the quiet and obedient wife that she was, grabbed her purse and was heading towards the door to appease her oh-so blue collared husband. Just as she was about to go out the door, Steve says: "Oh, and honey..." and Missy looked back, eyes gleaming, a smile just starting to emerge at the corners of her mouth. She was expecting a thank you, or an I love you, anything of the sort. Anything...any sort of expression of appreciation would have made this woman cream her pants. She was so anxious to hear what he had to say, and Steve returned everyone to reality by saying ..."Hurry up."

And that is the story of "And honey...hurry up." It still makes me laugh, but it might be one of those "you had to be there" kind of stories.

READ ME

I need everyone's mailing addresses STAT. Please post them on here or email them to me so I can send you invitations for my grad party...even though most of you won't come, I still want to cordially invite you because I'm a saint like that. OK thanks. Bye.

i HATE that new Black Eyed Peas song

The Passion and I will be moving to the city on Monday and/or Tuesday. If anyone is available to help us move, I will give you booze and the Passion will probably hug you. He DOES have emotions, you know. So get ready Wicker Park kids, we're gonna be a hop-skip-and a jump away. And I live on the wrong side of the tracks. Literally. Bosworth is a scary street. And I'm pretty sure my landlord is a con man.

I like the Cubs.

I'm with you KB...why do we even have a blog?

Has anyone heard of Pitty Sing? I can't decide if I like them or not. Someone please think for me and tell me what to like or dislike. Thank you.

me and briehan

How did she get stuck in this crowd?

all dressed up for rainbo

I know that Nick enjoys this.

Can you help me out with some change to get my perscription filled?

I got at TB test today. looks negative, I was kind of nervous about it because a hobo who claimed he had it was standing pretty close to me. How do you even get TB?

I passed my drug test again so am on my way to being employed. Just in time for Voss to quit his job and keep me up until 2 in the morning when I have to work the next day.

Jesslyn is watching A New Hope right now. I told her Empire is better. She said she didn't care. Why do I have a blog?

Steph help me out here.

"This isn't real pad tai. We're over Jesslyn"

polekatz bar crawl

yep, this is a real place saw the commercial last night. Doesn't pole cat mean bad breath? Am I making that up?

Lapolla does love grabbing his own crotch

Let's take a vote

Three options for future postings:
1. Pictures of cats
2. Pictures of all of you assholes
3. Pictures of both (the best of the best...like that old boxing movie)

Your thoughts??

My struggle with genital herpes

So for the longest time I was under the impression that I had genital herpes. Turns out, it was just my hymen! Phew!

Replace that C with a K

I know we haven't posted pictures of cats in awhile, but this is the next best thing. I saw a commercial for these dolls last night and I can only imagine how fast I would have peed myself if I had been stoned. Also, if Kelly doesn't become a mad scientist and create an evil race of Kellys, she'll probably become a Mystikat. Take a look:

Parallelogram-shaped hash browns

Due to the fact that I dedicate three days out of my work week to doing absolutely nothing, I spend a lot of time reading the Onion. This article is too good. Plus, I work right by Gurnee Mills and I've always loved bargain/dropped on the floor food! Lucky me! I love the picture with McNuggets in the milkshake and fries baked into the apple pie.

How come nobody posts on our blog??

I mean, we've had it all of 20 hours. Kelly, I changed the template for no reason at all.

Hey, Genital Caller #1...why did you call me at 6:20 in the morning yesterday?

When is Tommy's going away party?

Kelly and I have big plans for the weekend

it doesn't smell if there is no poop in it

not with blue in the room

Rudy loves cats

i guess we should have one too

Everyone else seems to have a blog so we are in.