An apology

Dear blog,

I'm sorry about neglecting you lately. I used to write on you almost everyday. Then along came Myspace. He was cuter than you, more interactive, and you could look at pictures of people you knew in high school to see how fat they are now. It was a new, fresh relationship; full of excitement and novel ideas. You became old and boring, so I left you on the side of the street like a bag of garbage. But every now and again, I'd stop by your place to see if you'd changed or had something new to say. You never did.

Then came Facebook. Ohhhh sexy and fresh-faced like a 12 year old Facebook. I'm smitten. So I wrote you off like I did my fake friends Moe and Scottie and moved on to bigger and better things once again. And I ditched that mongoloid Myspace as well. Now Facebook and I party all day and fuck all night. Jealous?

But, really, I do feel bad about how I've treated you. So I offer my sincerest apologies for being such a bad blogger. However, I'm not going to change for you. You're not any good at rim jobs anyway. Hope you can forgive me someday, but if not, go fuck yourself.

Tuman's is closed. Grow up.