I will post all of my pics either tonight or tomorrow (hopefully)...after I hook up my camera stuff to my new lap top. But...please see Boomsma's blog in the time being, his pics might go well with my brief synopsis. The underlying theme of the trip was hella cool EVERYTHING, naked Tommy, and a whole hell of a lot of cursing.
Wednesday:
Left Chicago, headed for Detroit. I think all of us were a bit scared the trip wouldn't be as fun as we had hoped. It was a bit cramped and hot in Danger Rides, but David Cross lightened the mood.
Got to Detroit, waited for Roy at some park. Some hot ass young chicks walked by...and oops...there goes Boomsma. We're 5 hours into the trip and he's hitting on girls? But Boomsma, what about Jen? "No man, not for me. I'm good to Jen. I did it for you guys."
Off to the city...Detroit was crazy depressing. Why are all of the sky scrapers boarded up? Where are all of the people? Why isn't anything open at 6:00 pm on a Wednesday? Consume whores...good advice, Rock City.
I ended up offending some gay guy who tried to tell me that Detroit was pretty sweet. No sir, but I did learn this from visiting: unless the D Devils are from Detroit, I hate that city. But we had a good time, nonetheless.
Thursday:
Get up, shower...try to hit the road around 9. Didn't end up leaving until about 1 because Tommy and Boomsma tried to do Spencer's online quiz and it took them forever. Introductory Chemistry was too difficult for you Tommy? This proves you are a janitor. Will thought that getting stoned at 10 am sounded like a good idea until it was apparent that we weren't gonna eat for 3 more hours.
Pennsylvania was a pretty cool state until we were driving through it FOREVER. Catch phrase, crosswords, the alphabet game, air-zooka farts, peeing in Gatorade bottles. It all ended with Will hulking me to death.
We roll into NYC around 2:00 am. But how are we gonna get drunk? Around 3, we end up at some Korean bar/deli/grocery store, get way too drunk on Soju (no, not you Yishai) and Tommy gets naked about 87 times in the block and a half back to our hotel. See Boomsma's pics.
Friday:
NYC was rainy. Ate. Drove around. Sat in traffic for a good 2 hours. Then to Hoboken. Then the real fun began. Driving to Boston was insane. Danger Rides wanted to die. He tried to commit suicide a few times, but we Heimlich'ed him into shape. I got wasted in the car. Boomsma and I drank tequila like we were trying to kill our unborn babies. (A success!) We got mooned. Finally made it to Cambridge where Tommy's stoned realtor was forced to stop living in his apartment and moved back to the street.
Cambridge closes up shop way too early for cool kids from IL. We ended up in China town and ordered "cold tea" in Spanish, but no one else spoke Spanish. Wierd night. People came in singing Hollaback Girl and Tommy did them. I told some girl that she was crazy if she thought the Red Sox were gonna win the world series again. We told the cab driver that we were circus performers from Manhattan, Kansas. He said he'd been there. Obvious.
Then we all slept on the hard hard hard floor.
Saturday:
Walked around, freaked out Harvard nerds. I knocked their books out of their hands and sold them keys to the roof top pool. At MIT, I turned into 75% ghost. I bought everyone pool toys to sleep on. Tommy was too fat for his and it was deflated by the end of the night. Maybe it was that slap on your back.
While pre-drinking, we pissed off Tommy's librarian neighbors. Went out to some bar where we were told to keep it down. The rest of the night is pretty much a blur for me. I remember Tommy smoking 5 cigarettes at once, shoving a tampon in my nose for about an hour, throwing things out of Tommy's windows, and being hella cool.
Sunday:
The crying and weeping begins. Tommy sobs on the floor for 2 hours, asking me to hold him and take him back to Chicago where he really wants to be. I put him in my duffel bag and sneak him on the plane. Are you happy, Jeeves? Why yes sir. Then we are ALL happy.
Ok, but we did spend some time in Boston, watched Lolita play in a fountain, and then a few of us departed for the airport. Will and I shared a goodbye cigarette outside of the airport because I won't see him for a long long time. It was sad saying goodbye to two of your favorite people in the course of 20 mins. I totally was that dumb asshole on the plane, tearing up and sniffling. I'm a fucking faggot. "I don't know faggot."
I came home to flowers and a big hug at the airport, but then Jape realized how bad my feet smelled (damn, did I wear the same pair of shoes without socks the entire fucking trip? Shit!).
It sucks being back at work and I wish we could just have stayed for a few more days. I miss ya already, Tommy. I've been listening to "Behind these hazel eyes" on repeat on the train since yesterday morning. And I'm totally serious. I've been on the train for about 4 hours since I've been back...that song is about 3 mins and 20 secs long...you do the math. But hey, it's a good song. Tommy, send me your address so I can send you a present (which will totally be the Kelly Clarkson album).
This post is wayyyy too long. I'm sure that nobody read the entire thing. Well, maybe SES did.
Bottom line: Sweet trip guys.
By the way, Boomsma basically ate my ass in Detroit.
